I’ve identified as a feminist for a long time. Traditionally, since the second wave of feminism, that means I am a democrat, and specifically, very pro-choice. I am liberal in my political views, but I have been an active pro-life advocate for 6+ years. Internships, conferences, writing, the works. That seems like a strange combination, but today, instead of telling you about the fundamentals of the feminist or pro-life movements (because google is your friend), I want to explain why I think abortion and feminism don’t have to go hand in hand.
Disclaimer: I’m not here to debate personhood or choice. We can do that another time.
Feminists believe in choice, the power to control their reproduction of children, right? Only since the late 1960’s and 1970’s did the mainstream feminist movement insist that true equality for women came from “a moral and legal right to control her fertility”. Before that, since the early 19th century, leading ladies fighting for feminism (Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Matilda Gage, Victoria Woodhull, Elizabeth Blackwell, etc) proclaimed in newspapers all over the world that abortion was not a way to achieve equality.
I think they were on to something. Our society has told us over and over again that when women want equality with men, we should build a career. THEN we’ll be equal to men. Does doing the same job as a man make us equal? There are so many things that hold us in a inferior position to men, and we are poised to change them. Devin already talked about rape culture on Tuesday, and I’m sure other things will be covered, so I’ll stay on topic here, but simply being able to have careers that men have does not make us equal.
We have been told that our equality comes from looking like men, acting like men, going to work, and not worrying about children like men.
I want to be, nay, I will be a successful woman in politics. (I am woman, here me roar!) But since I have entered this “man’s world”, there are glaring realities that make steam come out of my ears. I can’t believe we’re even still talking about equal pay for equal work. I also can’t believe that my colleagues are still buying into the lie that in order to be successful, women have to give up their femininity.
Example: Women are expected to dress in pantsuits to be taken seriously. If you dare to wear a bright color or a pencil skirt, you’re labeled a “sexy librarian” (how demeaning to be reduced to what is currently accepted as a halloween costume) and called a slut who is willing to sleep her way to the top.
But we don’t just have to look like men. We have to take on their roles. We have been told time and time again that we can’t have children and careers.
Women’s contributions to society are not limited to motherhood, but our contributions can also exist alongside motherhood. You do not have to sacrifice your motherhood, and with it, your choice of a particular kind of femininity, to be equal to men in the workplace. You do not have to sacrifice your chance to be a mother for your chance to have a successful career. Think Baby Mama. The plot of this Tina Fey/ Amy Poehler collaboration, as funny as it may be, reinforces the idea that women with careers have to sacrifice their dreams of motherhood. I believe in women so much, I think they can do both.
Note: You do not have to have a career, nor do you have to have children. But you should have the option to have both, or neither, without judgment from anyone.
Our society has told women that in order to be equal to men, they have to become men.
I think women have interpreted this to mean that we cannot be pregnant, we can’t have children, and that we are not capable of wanting them, and still have a career. Laury Oaks, Associate Professor of Feminist Studies at the University of California, Santa Barbara, writes that when abortion is legal, pro-life feminists believe, “women come to see pregnancy and parenting as obstacles to full participation in education and the workplace”. Abortion is the modern day answer to faux-equality. We want to have sex (because, duh) but we aren’t allowed to have children if we want to be successful in our careers.
Women, listen closely. Abortion only perpetuates the idea that pregnancy inhibits a woman’s career. Teenagers aren’t the only ones having abortions. It’s not all high schoolers afraid of being 16 and pregnant; it’s college women afraid of not getting the job they want once they graduate, & it’s thirty-somethings that can’t imagine raising the child they want and making partner at their law firm. Over 60% of all women having abortions are within this age range, and 3/4 of all women getting an abortion say that kids would interfere with work. I would venture to say, some women over this age choose abortion, not out of necessity, but because our society has told them they can’t be successful unless they are childless.
There are women who have bought into the lie that they cannot be successful and mothers. Women, we can have it all (if we want it)!
Your choice here is whether or not you want kids, and/or a career. Because it’s society telling you that you can’t have both. Don’t listen to them.
For some women, like me, we don’t want children. But that lack of desire to have children, at least for me, doesn’t have anything to do with a outranking desire to have a career. Some of our society, particularly the pro-life movement and traditional Christian church, think the only reason you wouldn’t want children is because you want to focus on your career, and for the most part, this isn’t considered a valid reason. A high majority of American Christians believe that women are subservient to men, and that their main role in the family is to stay at home and raise children. While I technically belong to both the pro-life movement and Christianity, I have to wholeheartedly disagree with all of those views (Galatians 3:28). If you want, you don’t have to be a mom. If you want, you can. That is what all of this is about. Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking giving up your femininity is the only way to be successful in your career.
Women have all the options we want available to us. We are not limited to any path or way of life. We can do anything we want.
We need feminism because I’m tired of being told that I will change my mind about children some day.
We need feminism because women are capable of being career women, and having children.
We need feminism because we shouldn’t have to act like men to be as successful as men.
Read more from Lerryn on Twitter @LerrynMallory.
