Monthly Archives: May 2014

#YesAllWomen

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I’ve had a lot of people argue with me about the validity and necessity of feminism. When you associate yourself with a misunderstood label, it tends to happen and I totally get it.  I’m always happy to explain that I believe in gender equality and egalitarianism, not one gender over another. But now, let me explain a little more: 

I believe in gender equality because every 2 minutes, someone in the United States is sexually assaulted. 

I believe in gender equality because one in four women are rape or attempted rape survivors. 

I believe in gender equality because 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys are sexually abused by the age of 18 (and those stats only account for the less than 40% of cases reported to the authorities.) 

I believe in gender equality because I’m a part of those statistics. 

I believe in gender equality because all women have had to deal with threats of violence, sexual abuse, degradation, or just creepy, scary situations every single day. The #YesAllWomen hashtag has brought many of these stories to light and the sad truth is, for women, none of the stories are shocking. It’s just something we’ve all dealt with at one point or another, in one fashion or another. 

I understand why people argue against the “feminist” label, but how in the world can you see these facts and hear these stories and NOT yearn for equality and a world where a body is not an entitled commodity? 

Violence, abuse, homicide, and degradation against ANYONE is never justifiable. This should not be the norm for 51% of the world’s population. No one “deserves” violence because of their dress, actions, or behavior. Nobody “has it coming.” (What a truly grievous belief.) 

We must do better. 

 

To those who feel alone:

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To those who may feel alone,

Take heart.

It could be easy to say to yourself,

“If only”

Or “Why me?”

But sometimes

The beauty of solitude

Is liberation

From dependency.

The feeling that

You can accomplish anything

And everything you want,

With your own two hands,

Your mind,

And maybe Google Search.

You can go anywhere

Because your familiar feet

Draw you to new and unexpected places.

If you’re looking

for answers or happiness,

and waiting on another to provide them

Maybe

you’re waiting on yourself first.

Why does God have to pull “Aladdin” moments?

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I love when things go perfectly ( aka perfectly my way). Don’t try to deny it, you do too.

Oscar Wilde might have said that “There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”….but reallyyy, is he one to talk? Looking back, there have been things (and relationships, let’s be honest) I’m so glad didn’t work out but that’s hindsight, y’all. When you’re in the moment and you have a “perfect vision” of what you want, it’s really hard to give it all up. 

So I don’t know about you, but I really don’t like when God pulls an “Aladdin.” No, He doesn’t turn me from a street urchin into a princess or even give me a pet monkey (I would definitely prefer a pet raccoon a la “Pocahontas,” hope you all are taking notes on this); I’m talking about those really annoying moments when God interrupts and stops me from doing my own thing with my own (perfectly arranged) timeline and asks “Do you trust me?”

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I mean…yes? No? Mostly yes? Soft no?

I DO trust God. He has been so faithful to me and He really, really loves me a lot. I have a million examples of the Lord’s goodness in my life. His plans always end up blowing mine out of the water. But…waiting for them to happen is hard.

It’s hard to trust God when you feel lonely. Or if your plan seems like the best/only option you can see. Or if you’re tired of waiting around. (Or if you’re turning 23 soon and could’ve SWORN things would be different by now.)

Habakkuk 2:3 reminds me to be a tad more patient: “For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.” Unfortunately God’s timing isn’t like a 30 minute sitcom, where the problem is neatly solved by the third commercial break. 

And you know how I feel about answers: I hate writing something that addresses an issue yet isn’t practically seeking out answers. I think Psalms 37:3, the verse right before the frequently quoted (and hard to define) “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart”, really does help: “Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.” 

Befriend Faithfulness: I love this wording (ESV y’all.) I want to be faithful in the little tiny things, so God can entrust me to be faithful in the BIG stuff. And you know, maybe that’s why God tells us (okay, ME) no & asks me to trust Him and wait.

Maybe I’m not ready yet…but I’m almost there (hopefully. Dang.)

I AM THE MASTER OF CRAFTS.

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Okay, I just have to share because I LOVE the feeling of making something cute, sustainable, and like fifty times cheaper than purchasing it.

I never, ever wear bikinis because usually the tops are like two tiny triangles of nothingness and that just doesn’t work for me. There’s so little fabric & coverage that I’d be better off sewing two potholders together or something. And bathing suits that actually are fitted cost upwards of way too much money.

A month ago, I found the cutest ever bathing suit top online (From this website, if you’re curious). It was absolutely perfect for me–retro, fitted to my bra size rather than the dumb XS-XL model, and on sale for $17. Whattt. I had to buy it.

I also wanted to find high waisted bottoms to go with the retro feel of the top, but alas. They’re kind of tricky to find. My dream pair was from ModCloth, but it was SO expensive. I couldn’t see myself spending nearly $60 on bathing suit bottoms. So I decided to change that, thanks to a trip to the fabric store.
Screen Shot 2014-05-06 at 10.57.43 AMModcloth version: $57

My version: $36 ($2 for supplies plus $34 for actual bottoms)

 

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And yes, they’re even cuter than the ModCloth ones (in my opinion). I am the master of sewing now.

Graduation Revisited: a Letter to 2013 Me

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So I’m totally “Back to the Future”-ing this: I present to you the letter of advice I would give my past self upon my graduation from college one year ago today. Feel free to add in the comments the advice you would give your past self at graduation–because why not? 

Dear May 4, 2013 Kelsy,

First off, writing letters to yourself is super weird. Let’s power through this and never, ever do it again.

Here are things you should know a year after graduating college:

  • You are still kind of sad you never TRULY got to make a “May the 4th be with you joke” during graduation. Some wounds never heal.
  • Friendships, man. It’s so funny to see who sticks in your life and who doesn’t. Get ready to become really close to some friends who were just acquaintances before & be prepared for awkward bouts of silences that eventually fade into total white noise with other friends. Relationships are cyclical. Just love the best you can & don’t get offended at the drop of the hat when a friendship season ends. Sometimes it just does!
  • Get ready to find “post grad inspiration” from the weirdest sources…like “The Hobbit”? What?
  • Your self-worth is based on so much more than what people can see about you.
  • So, you know how you were so mad you weren’t asked to speak at graduation? It literally does not mean anything to you ever again past May 6, 2013. Like, I’m totally side-eyeing you right now for being so weirdly fixated on the stupidest stuff.
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May 4, 2014 me judging you a little.

  • Also, literally EVERYTHING you said you “would never in a million years ever do” has happened to you. Yeah, you now live in Pennsylvania and work with your parents.
  • You break your foot. It kind of sucks/devastates your life for a really, really long time and in fact, current May 4, 2014 me is still not quite sure why it happened, but it weirdly becomes a very defining life event post-graduating. (Just be careful around stairs, okay?)
  • Real life is really, truly difficult. Those indie folk singers were right all along, as it turns out. But literally everyone is going through the same thing–you aren’t alone in the struggle. Community reveals itself in the most unusual ways.
  • Contrary to advice I was given by a professor.YOU DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE EVERYTHING FIGURED OUT IN THE NEXT 3 YEARS POST-GRADUATION. That is a big fat lie.There’s no timeline of “supposed to.” Give yourself grace.
  • Connections are awesome, but you don’t have to say yes to everything…or say yes in order to be nice.
  • Keep reading, keep searching, keep learning. As Walt Whitman wrote, “I tramp the perpetual journey.” (So do you!)

XOXO May 4, 2014 Kelsy